The Heights | Mentoring for Students

Mentoring for Students

Number and Duration of Meetings

The mentor meets with each mentee at least once a month. The meeting is
one-on-one where the mentor can give his full attention to the mentee. Accidental
conversations in the hallway, quick checkups, group meals, sideline chit-chat, etc.,
although encouraged and quite effective some times, do not take the place of a
mentorship meeting. Although a meeting may be longer, especially at the beginning
of the year, 15 minutes will quite often be sufficient. For Lower School students,
5-10 minutes will be in most cases sufficient.

Nature and Scope of Advice Given

Mentorship seeks to help each boy in the areas suggested in the mission of the
School: intellectual, moral, physical, and spiritual. But before explaining each
area in detail, there are some general considerations that are worth discussing.
The conversation between the mentor and the mentee should have a relaxed
tone — an exchange among friends. It should have the tenor of a friendship of an
older brother with a younger one, or a father with a son.
There are certain subjects that should be brought up regularly that the mentor
should be familiar with:

School Work
Reasons for good/bad grades
Study habits
Anticipating possible problems
Reading for
Temperament and Personality
General temperament: extrovert, introvert, calm, nervous,
Strengths and Weaknesses
Human refinement: language/dress/personal grooming
Family Life
Charity to parents and siblings
Use of time
Obedience to parents
Responsibilities at home: chores; spirit of service; example to younger siblings
Moral Formation and Character
Learning to choose the good
Seeking truth
Use of technology
Respect for women: mothers, sisters, friends
Courage to do and say the right thing
Life of Faith
Taking advantage of the spiritual activities at School
Serving others
Learning to pray
Aspirations: What is the mentee looking forward to?
Worries and Concerns

The Mentor/Mentee Conversation

The mentor should always make the mentor/mentee conversations an occasion
for the mentee to feel he is understood. It’s not the time for reprimands or guilt
trips, but quite the opposite. The mentor tries to create an environment where
the young person opens up because he feels he is being heard. This, of course, is
particularly important for older students as they are trying to exert their own
personalities. The mentee should know from the beginning that this conversation is not a time to complain about teachers or his parents. The mentor will listen and help the boy
understand why his parents want this or that or why that teacher gave that assignment.